Till Death Us Do Part(1966–1975)

Arguments, Arguments...

Proud house owner and Tory Alf Garnett is angered by his socialist son-in-law Mike's comments about the family home being a slum. Further humiliation and arguments follow in a boozy session in the local pub.

Hair Raising!

Following yet another political spat with Mike and a subsequent nap, Alf heads off to the pub. There, he's unable to understand why all the punters are laughing at him.

A House with Love in It

It's Alf and Else's 25th wedding anniversary; however, needless to say, Alf has forgotten and it's left to Mike to give him a present to pass on to his wife, not that Alf is grateful.

Intolerance

Alf reluctantly accompanies Mike to see Liverpool play Borussia Dortmund in the European Champions cup. There, his racism takes its toll as he reacts to his fellow match-goers on the terraces, resulting in a visit to the doctor with two black eyes and no voice.

Two Toilets? ... That's Posh!

With no bathroom or inside toilet in his terrace house, Alf resigns himself to washing in the old tin bath in the kitchen whilst Else hangs her washing around him. This screens him from Mike, whom he overhears trying to sell the house in order to get an upmarket place in his name. The prospect of two toilets and an en suite appeals to Alf but he must take action when he realises he might be the young Scouser's lodger.

From Liverpool with Love

Alf is less than pleased when Mike's Irish parentsbcome to stay for the week. However a bizarre alliance forms between Alf and his son-in-law when Mike feels that his father is criticising him as well.

Peace and Goodwill

As the Garnetts celebrate Christmas, Alf berates Rita and Mike for only giving him 'Whiffs' as opposed to real cigars and second-rate socks whilst they have bought Else a dress and accuses his atheist son of hypocrisy. Rita is unable to recall his gift of a doll's house when she was little – though that was because Alf fell downstairs and broke it whilst drunk. When the carollers come calling, Alf is ready for then with a vase of dirty water but has to drink it when he sees the vicar heading the singers.

The Phone

When Mike is unable to get into the phone box to place Alf's bet on a horse which ultimately wins, Alf decides it's time for the Garnetts to have their own phone. Despite Mike trying to wind him up by pretending to be the operator, Alf is proud of his new possession but becomes agitated when Else allows Min from next door to come over and use the phone, turning down the volume on the show he's trying to watch.

To Garnett a Grandson

Rita gives birth to a son and Alf, eventually – as he would rather be in the pub wetting the baby's head – visits her in hospital. Initial pride at seeing his grandson soon leads to an argument with Mike, who wants to call his son Michael Patrick – too IRA for Alf, who is also annoyed that the surname will be Rawlins, not Garnett, and the christening will take place in a Catholic church.

Pigeon Fancier

Alf has received a tax rebate and is celebrating by blowing it in the pub, where he hears about another regular's racing pigeons. Alf believes he's onto a winner by taking up the sport himself and takes a train to set the birds free, though inevitably, things don't go as planned.

Holiday in Bournemouth

The Garnetts take a train to Bournemouth, where Alf gets into an argument with an Indian passenger and is aghast to be informed that the man is first class. On arrival, there's further moanings – sunburn, the taxi driver, though the hotel proprietress with the henpecked husband can teach him a thing or two about rabbiting on.

Dock Pilfering

Even at the breakfast table, Alf is on his high horse, mouthing off about how the government should put looters and thieves up against the wall and execute them. However, when he gets to work and finds that Else has got her own back on him by putting nothing in his lunch-box, he faces an ethical dilemma. Steal or starve.

Up the Hammers

Alf wants his grandson Michael to play for West Ham, and follow in the footsteps of his beloved Bobby Moore, so he whisks baby Michael away to watch 'The Hammers' at Upton Park, but an unpleasant welcome awaits on his return home.

Moving in with Min

With no sign of Else ever returning, Alf decides to put his house on the market, though with Rita and Mike as sitting tenants, this creates a problem. As a trial run, he becomes the Reads' lodger but falls foul of Min who, after he's resisted her amorous advances, refuses to cook him a proper meal.

TV Licence

Alf is determined to respect the two minutes silence 'To honor the dead' on Remembrance Day but will Rita and Mike's disrespect and wife Else's loyalty to the BBC ruin it for him?

The Royal Wedding

Phone Call to Else

Alf is well and truly missing Else's housework and cooking so he rings her to ask when she will be home but receives no definite answer. Else has asked Min from next door to cook meals for Alf.

Marital Bliss