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The Distractible Podcast with Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, and Bob Muyskens is a space to have thoughtful discussions about funny, out there, or otherwise interesting stories from everyday life. Also an opportunity for three friends to remind each other they are not as smart as they think.
2021
Today the guys discuss all things hair (and the lack there of)! They warn of the dangers of hair removal, explore the strange hair trends of ancient Greek statues, and discuss sci-fi scenarios where the elite harvest hair and organs from the less fortunate.
Mark hosts while Wade and Bob one-up each other's concepts for eliminating body odor, debate the true number of human senses, and remember nostalgic aromas.
Mark hosts while Wade and Bob one-up each other's concepts for eliminating body odor, debate the true number of human senses, and remember nostalgic aromas.
Mark recounts the legend of an insane creature from the Rocky Mountains. Bob explains how his formative kayaking trip almost ended like a horror movie, and Wade...well, Wade just does what Wade does...
Bob prompts a discussion about technology that blurs the lines of reality in this hilarious episode full of gadget scams, 00's game nostalgia, and if the mute button could exist for real life.
Mark hosts as Bob and Wade trade scary stories. For Bob, it's a strange woman who catches children who stay out too late. For Wade, a true story about how the night after watching "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" may have been scarier than the movie itself!
Bob rages while telling a story about the disaster that was the installation of his new fridge, and the technicians behind it.
On this episode of the pod, the guys get nostalgic for conventions and all the good and bad that come with them. From notable failed attempts, to bizarre themes (like "pizza" and "baby"), to post-COVID predictions, conventions hold a special place in Mark, Bob, and Wade's hearts.
Wade hosts as Mark and Bob share some classic "hold my beer" moments from their college days.
In front of a "live" Discord audience, the guys discuss synchronicities, déjà vu, mind-reading, and hive minds.
Mark, Bob and Wade aim to answer the age old hypothetical question: "What is the perfect crime?".
The guys share stories about how dumb kids can be: from inventing stupid games, to playing with banned toys, and somehow making it through all of it without a scratch.
Bob hosts, opening the floor for Mark and Wade to discuss what they want their funerals to be like.
This week, the guys talk about the future: expectations vs. reality. What did people in the past predict the future would be like? Were they accurate? The guys wonder if they too will be accurate if they attempt to do the same.
The guys give absolutely the worst advice possible on how to make a best friend.
The guys discuss their bathroom close calls. Expired meat and hospital visits included, underwear left behind
Tough sports coaches, rude fast food customers, and criminals getting their comeuppance, the guys discuss all of their moments of revenge and defiance against those who dared to cross them.
The guys recount their night terrors, the first ones they remember having as well as the ones they still have today. They also explore how memory relates to dreams.
Following the first ever tie in Distractible history, Mark and Bob attempt to share hosting responsibilities, while Wade regales in his tales of good and not so good eats.
The guys discuss their life paths, including career goals, turning points and what job they'd have in a zombie apocalypse.
From coffee stunting your growth, to gum staying in your stomach forever, the guys recall the lies their parents told them growing up and how they still affect them as adults.
Wade hosts as Bob shares the story of his movie theater dating scare, and Mark reminisces on the only dating idea he had in high school, or the lack thereof.
The guys discuss crazy roller coasters and amusement park rides, as well as discuss what a hypothetical "euthanasia coaster" would consist of.
The spelling of certain words, sex ed miscommunications, examples of the Mandela Effect: the guys humbly admit when they were wrong...
Sharks, stage fright, and snapping your legs like Joe Theismann. Today, the guys discuss their fears and whether or not the opposite of a fear is a fetish.
Let's face it: Mark, Bob and Wade are getting - up there.
Birds falling from the sky, climate change, solar flares, Jeff Bezos... What will be humanity's ultimate demise?
The guys discuss adolescent sneakiness, food revelations, and more Jeff Bezos!
Campfire guitar guy, the gamer guy with a bad mic, Crypto Bros, Florida Man… you know, that guy. Which “guy” are our guys?
Mark shares the story of a pilot who crashed his plane seven times, inspiring Bob and Wade to find similar tales of perseverance despite ridiculous failure.
Bob challenges Mark and Wade to prove that humanity is ultimately good.
The guys dive into how disturbing and strange some holiday traditions really are.
Mark's bizarre sleeping schedule, Bob drinks an entire handle of vodka, and Wade is - jogging? The guys discuss self improvement and whether or not New Year's is overrated.
The guys discuss their cooking mishaps and oddly satisfying food creations.
Mark's late-night descent into the "distressingmemes" subreddit sparks discussion of scary stories, including Bob and Wade's favorite cryptids.
From nose picking to cigarette smoking, the guys start 2022 off by discussing their worst habits.
Inspired by the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, Mark challenges Bob and Wade to brainstorm creative ways to keep kids from eating too much candy.
After reading an "official" list of the funniest jokes in the world and deciding they aren't that funny, Bob challenges Mark and Wade to find or make the funniest joke in the world, with Mark ultimately turning to AI for assistance.
The guys trade stories about losing embarrassing amounts of money. From Craigslist scams to mobile games, yard sales and more.
In honor of Valentine's Day, the guys show their devotion by answering The New York Times' "36 Questions that Lead to Love".
Bob hosts and absentmindedly goes over an entire topic that the guys have already discussed in an earlier episode, leading to him having a breakdown. Also, Wade's dogs are fine, thanks for asking.
Love them or hate them, we live in a world of advertisements. The guys discuss nostalgic commercials, the psychology behind ads and how they approach recording their own ads for Distractible.
Prepare for a lot of hot takes as the guys explore their own and argue about them.
The guys reminisce about hilarious and chaotic pet-related memories.
Quitting jobs, sneaking porn, having a run-in with the police, today the guys chat about times they upset their parents.
2023
A special mid-week episode, today the guys celebrate their first VIDEO PODCAST (video available only on Spotify!), by digging through the r/AmItheAsshole reddit page! P.S. New episodes will continue Mondays AND Fridays moving forward! Prepare to be doubly distracted...
Heads or tales, good or bad, riddles or rhymes?!? Find out on today's episode... Also, Wade has Covid. P.S. Don't forget to look out for another new Distractible episode Friday! Episodes will release Mondays AND Fridays from now on!
Mark and Wade are getting married?!? Well, not exactly, but Bob still wants them to get to know each other using a fun wedding shower game.
Joking jokers joking about jokers and joker-ing each other's jokers... but, trust us, it's fair.
If you can believe it, today the constantly distracted boys ~attempt~ to guide each other in some calming and vaguely focused meditations.
Today, supremely confident host, Wade, challenges contestants Mark and Bob to get vulnerable and talk about the insecurities around their achievements.
Mark and Wade compete, pitching various monuments, achievements, and artifacts, hoping to make them onto Bob's list for the seven new wonders of ~their~ world.
Wade celebrates his birthday (sort of) by continuing the burls' video game tier list.
The dudes are back to continue where they left their all-telling game of Would You Rather.
Bob, Mark, and Wade reminisce, cringe, and sing about some of their first experiences.
Much like his fashion sense, Wade's topic today is... just a random collection of things he threw together.
Mark offers the guys 1 million dollars, but for weird consequences. The coin flip at the beginning? Nah, that's not important at all.
Today, Mark and Wade die. Yes, you read that right. And Bob, the celestial arbiter, decides what becomes of them: the good place or the bad place?
Two hosts! One of them speaks in riddles, the other speaks in rhymes...
The boys talk Ohio like only true Ohioans can! Plus, another member of Distractible finds out they have ADHD.
Wade gets a ~rise~ out of Mark and Bob by making them argue about bread.
Mark throws it back to the guys' old livestreaming format, Wade calls in from vacay, and Bob flips his lid... or should I say... doesn't?
A wheel, a random topic generator, and a timer: sounds like a Mark episode, doesn't it? Nope, somehow it's a Wade episode.
You can shapeshift into anyone, EXCEPT yourself... You become the most beautiful person on earth, BUT you are only as smart as a 3rd grader... You get to be apart of your favorite movie, BUT you have to be the antagonist... Find out if the guys would press those buttons and say yes to these fun, funny, and occasionally dark scenarios.
The topic is hypocrisy and they barely talk about their hypocrisies??? Hypocrites!
Today, the guys discuss the ramifications of recent updates in AI. Did ChatGPT write this, or is this something a human would say?
A lighter turn from last episode, today the dudes dive into what they hope the future holds for civilization 100 years from now.
The boys obsess over their current favorite gadgets, gizmos, and doodads.
Xbox vs Playstation, LeBron vs Jordan, Skyline vs Gold Star... A lot of times, strong opinions can be silly, no matter how competitive or passionate people get about them.
Today the topic is effectively chosen by YOU, the listeners and viewers! Will your personal question be answered? Listen to find out!
College, customer service calls, pyramid schemes: today the guys discuss the things they weren't ready for when heading into adulthood.
Mark urges the guys to dig deep and find moments in their past full of unbridled rage...
Wade listing off some of Earth's most bizarre animals leads Bob and Mark to get weird in their own ways.
Internet issues, Mark being chaotic, Wade being teased, and Bob talking about TikTok trends. Yeah... sounds like a weird, completely unique episode.
But of course! The third member of the Distractible trifecta must also guide a chat about ~the weird~. This time, it's weird real estate.
What YouTubers are ~our YouTubers~ subscribed to? Hear their niche and fascinating channel recommendations on today's show!
Today on Distractible, the guys find out how Mark's Birthday connects to their most profound moments of love.
This is NOT Weird Part 4, I repeat, this is NOT Weird Part 4...
The guys are FINALLY back! But where have they been? Listen as Mark talks about his emotional adventure from the ER to South Korea, and Bob blames Wade on Twitter for the missing episodes. #blamewade
It's getting emotional up in here, as Wade hosts and asks the guys what films, music, and games hit them right in the feels.
Guess what's probably lurking inside of you right now? That's right... Microplastics! Mark hosts as Bob & Wade go head to head in the ultimate debate of whether these tiny invaders are destroying or benefiting our planet.
We mean it this time. WE QUIT! Not really... but watch as Bob, Wade, and Mark share their spooky, dangerous, and embarrassing professions that made them decide to quit and move forward.
The age old debate among computer users FINALLY gets addressed... which is better: Macs or PCs? Watch as Bob and Wade debate over which one of Mark's computers should be destroyed IMMEDIATELY.
Reading? Reading books? Ever heard of it? Mark, Bob, and Wade definitely have. They do it all the time... For sure.
Wade singing songs, Bob becoming Guru Harold, Mark not being able to stop talking about AI: find out where the burls would rate the subreddit's favorite podcast bits!
It's time to once again venture into the great unknown world of tic-tac ships and octopuses/octopi, and see if the recent UFO Congressional hearings mean that there truly is life elsewhere in our universe...
The guys answer classic icebreakers, but with the caveat that their dice roll must correspond to the quality of their answer. This ep's obviously a 'natty 20.
Reddit nemesis Marq-Eye-Blier urges his fellow burls to pitch him their best (and worst) Distractible episode ideas.
There's no place like home. But what makes a place feel like home? Is it the memories? The amenities? Or maybe it's Ohio. Yeah, it's probably just Ohio. Also, have any of you seen Baldermort anywhere...?
Bird hit window. Mouse in pool. Raccoon with... Grandma? Some time animal in place it shouldn't.
Whatever these guys are doing, they're definitely doing it wrong. Watch as Bob, Mark, and Wade discuss the various things they do wrong on a daily basis.
An extremely enthusiastic Wade invites Bob and Mark to ponder several philosophical questions and ends up with varying results... but does anything really "end" anyway?
The King of FNAF himself hosts another Tier List, acting as arbiter for divvying up the "citizens" of his domain.
Today Mark has two random friends on the pod to talk about his favorite things: hard drives, weird news, and space.
Mark's reign continues, but this episode honestly goes in D Tier for: "Didn't We Already Do This One?"
In quintessential Distractible fashion, Wade asks Mark and Bob questions which their "distractible" nature makes quite difficult to answer.
Do Mark and Wade have the knowledge and friendship to escape Bob's magical, whimsical, and sometimes sexual universe of puzzles?
Put on your Drew Carey glasses, hawaiian shirts, and bald caps! This episode is an homage to the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter!
Mark explains his nearly inexplicable hatred toward a redditor who posts high resolution pictures of the moon and wonders if Bob and Wade have any similar situation.
If points were breakfast, our ulotrichous host allows but a jentacular tittynope for our nonplussed contestants to fight over. Find out what that insane sentence means on today's episode!
Breaking News: Wade challenges Bob and Mark to go out in the field to find the most juicy, mind-blowing, and controversial news stories that are sure to make headlines... probably.
Mark rips off Bob and Mandy.
Bob and Wade punish Mark.
Mark elicits Bob and Wade to give him advice for a variety of average problems. Of course, they can't give true legal council, so they give illegal or otherwise unscrupulous solutions.
The wickedly talented Wade enlists his contestants to find their favorite giraffes-- I mean gaffes, sorry. Find out if Mark and Bob actually listen to their host or if the episode becomes one big gaffe in itself.
Bob makes Mark and Wade take personality tests. They discuss how accurate their results are and if they were even worth doing in the first place...
Yes, Mark has obsessions. And many times, those obsessions are expensive. Today we find out if Bob and Wade have any obsessions that they feel are worth the questionable cost.
Ah! You scared me! But what does it take to scare the guys? Find out as Wade, Mark, and Bob discuss what makes something truly horrifying.
Are Bob and Wade's knowledge of horror tropes as particular and knowledgable as Mark's? Find out on today's spooky gameshow...
From Michael Myers, to Freddy Krueger, to Nemesis, to the Gingerdead Man, who comes out on top as the ultimate horror villain?
What are "Ghosts?" Are they real? If so, what are they made of? Watch as the guys try to solve the mysteries of the spiritual world.
As we enter the Thanksgiving season, the guys start with discussing what things make them say NO THANKS! And yeah, Mark's eye surgery is on my list too... (VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED)
Bob, Wade, and Mark attempt to separate fact from fiction, venturing into the curious world of conspiracy theories. Maybe even a little too far...
Mark's all out of ideas, Bob is confused and scared, and Wade actually tries for once.
Wade, Mark, and Bob talk about bullsh*t. That's pretty much it.
The guys talk Mark's volcano scare, bad airports, and the voices animals would have if they could speak.
Wade tells the epic story of his terrifying journey to pick up and deliver a wedding cake. Plus the guys reminisce about the nostalgic things they miss from their younger-years. After all, they are getting older.
Dr. Markiplier completely legitimately and credibly screens Bob and Wade for ADHD.
A.I. is going to take over sooner or later, so the guys may as well use it's suggestions for episode topics.
Look deep into our eyes... what do you see? Nothing? Yep, that pretty much sums up today's episode.
Wade, Bob, and Mark put holiday characters head to head with each other, to see who comes out on top. But who could possibly beat the derisiveness of the clever confectionery that is the "Gingerdead Man?"
Hear us out. And when we're done, don't say anything. Bob, Mark, and Wade discuss their philosophical opinions on past, present, and future generations.
Wade, Bob, and Mark talk about how they balance stress, relaxation, and work ethic in their day to day lives. Also everything Mark says is wrong, and we have science to prove it (we think).
Mark, Bob, and Wade are gonna show you how to make serious bank and get rich fast with these totally legit and definitely NOT illegal tips.
Let out your best maniacal laugh for Bob, Mark, and Wade as they explore their villainous alter egos and compete for a seat on the "Evil League of Evil!"
Wade, Bob, and Mark recount memories of painful, embarrassing, ballsy and butt-y moments of stupidity.
Twas the episode on Christmas, and all through the podcast: Bob sings weird carols. Wade gets harassed. Mark talks about lenses. Isn't that a surprise? Merry Christmas to all, from your favorite three guys.
Bah, Humbug! Now that Christmas is over, the guys can finally express all of their least favorite parts of the holiday season.
Happy New Year! Naturally, the guys celebrate by taking an existential journey down the dystopian rabbit hole of linking human brains with AI.
Wade, Mark, and Bob talk about their new year resolutions, what they wish they accomplised last year, and do a WHOLE lot of stretching.
The guys decide to put their reputations on the line.
Wade's gifts, Bob's holes, and Mark's superpowers.
Bob, Mark, and Wade reflect on the times when they instinctively knew what to do.
Would Mark, Bob, or Wade eat each other to survive? Find out during this wittle intewectual talk hosted by phiwosopher Wade.
You asked, we listened. This episode has one goal: to make Wade the winner. We wouldn't want to disappoint the subreddit, would we?
Pull up a chair with lumbar support and pour yourself a cup of weak tea. Because it's time for the guys to face the facts that they are getting older. But only one can be the oldest.
Mark is here to introduce to you and the guys the greatest game that the podcast world has ever witnessed: Chess 3!
Players Bob (420), Mark (069), and Wade (000) discuss which childhood games would be perfect for Squid Game competitions.
Mark, Bob, and Wade discuss those new fangled flying machines the young folk are talking about.
Oh boy! Here comes Dr. Bob with a brand new test for Mark and Wade to see which of them have what it takes to be a "real boy."
All hail, Wade. Wade is the king of Distractible. This is his episode, his kingdom. Everything is great. We are definitely not being held against our will. All hail, Wade.
They conquered the “Escape Room,” they outsmarted the “Riddle Realm,” but can Mark and Bob survive the treacherous challenges that await them in the “Wade Games?”
Three hosts, one episode. After nearly two years, the floor is finally open to lay down the law and finish the first Constitution of Distractible.
Mark, Bob, and Wade meet Jesus.
2022
Bob hosts while Wade reveals his secrets for the Cincinnati Bengals' future success in football, and Mark theorizes that human compulsions might come from a simulation.
Wade wonders where he and the guys got their confidence, while Mark and Bob share their tips for public speaking and dealing with self-doubt.
Inspired by the guys' previous discussion about their own hot takes, they scour the Distractible subreddit in search of hills that the listeners will die on, and discuss whether or not they agree.
From TikToks with bad auto-tune, to nostalgic educational computer games, the guys dive into what gives them a serotonin boost.
The guys discuss fears of things yet to come, while Mark struggles to keep Wade on topic.
Does our solar system have a tenth planet? Are there really UFOs flying around earth? And what the hell is a tardigrade? The guys answer all these questions and more while discussing potential evidence for life elsewhere in the universe.
Junk food, the Scary Movie franchise, Slenderman, sometimes things are so bad they might just be good after all.
In this new episode format, Judge Wade let's the listeners in on his secret points system, but leaves Mark and Bob in the dark as they struggle to collect as many points as they can.
The guys discuss times in their life where their pure rage and annoyance were transformed in the most interesting and productive of ways.
Labyrinthian healthcare services, customer service "assistance", and unobserved restaurant reservations: the guys talk about specific times they've been screwed over by life.
In yet another classic episode revolving around Bob, Mark and Wade are assigned the responsibility of raising Bob throughout his childhood and teaching him important life lessons along the way, in their own ways.
The guys play a game of "Morals or NO Morals" and end up focusing on the latter.
Wade creates a new points system once again, pitting Mark's laughter against Bob's laughter.
Bob and Wade trade stories about summer injuries, while Mark deviates into delusion.
Mark leaves things up to chance for Bob and Wade in this new game mode featuring a blaring alarm and randomly generated countdowns.
Bob shares the story of Sir Hugh Beaver, while Mark and Wade compete to find the most shocking and disturbing World Records.
The Aladdin Exception, Ghost Kitchens, Edward Snowden and The NSA: the guys dive deep (but not too deep) into some of their favorite conspiracy theories.
The boys play Hot or Not: Bucket List Edition, plus share some of their personal Bucket List items.
Mark whips up a new timed game mode where Bob and Wade race to Google topics. The slower they take to find their topic, the more points they get deducted and added to the winners pot.
The legendary Raising Cane's, the classic McDonald's, the scarce Fazoli's: see where the boys rank these and many other fast food spots.
Bob prompts Mark and Wade to share their favorite game shows, then surprises them with his own game show for them to compete in.
Instead of dual hosting, Mark and Wade compete in a secret game of their own, leaving Bob in the dark.
Door-to-door salesman, house parties going too far, love at first sight: today the guys talk about the accuracy of their gut feelings.
First kisses, funny dances, going on stage: today the guys talk certain songs that transport them to specific life moments.
Why humans sleep, the creator of the universe, alien life: today the guys attempt to solve these great mysteries.
In the spirit of the Distractible Live episodes on the Distractible Youtube channel, Mark takes Bob and Wade through a variety of headlines and news articles. Riffing ensues.
Bob's hot take on Pokémon, Markiplier's true feelings on Five Nights at Freddy's, find out where the guys rank these games and more.
The guys share awkward spa stories, then rank the best/worst places to be naked.
Today the guys troll specific media fandoms by giving them hot take bait.
What is better, big or small? Today the guys decide once and for all by giving their personal opinions prompted by Bob's list of items.
Recorded live and with the guys in the same room for the first time in 5 years, today Wade throws it back to tour with a favorite improv game... CHANGE!
Today the guys compile a contentious tier list about all different kinds of candy, just in time for Halloween.
Mark invites Bob and Wade to alternate playing the Devil's Advocate for a variety of agreed upon, and not so agreed upon social norms and behaviors.
Bob forces Mark and Wade to pick their poison, having to decide between several pairs of awful scenarios.
Today the guys celebrate Thanksgiving with genuine outpourings of gratitude, which Mark the host, of course, converts to numerical point values.
Today Bob's story of Google Glass inspires Mark and Wade to find great stories of failure in history.
Wade's emotional roller coaster of a story takes center stage as he explains the strange coincidences surrounding a close call with his beloved cat. Oh, and Bob gives a fridge update.
Bob takes Mark and Wade through a list of strange, unorthodox and disgusting anti-aging methods to decide if the treatments are worthwhile.
Wade's Secret Words is back, but this time there's only a single word in the game: Christmas.
Bob and Wade derail Mark's profound and dedicated search for the perfect day upon which to base your life in the new year and beyond.
You know the guys are getting older, but now it's time they try to convince you their bad habits are actually good.
Bob gives an update on his newborn baby, James, then pivots the topic to memory. The guys then discuss some of their first memories and how they think memories actually work.
Inspired by a post from the official Distractible subreddit, the guys discuss things that give them the ever illusive, yet always unnerving "ick".
In an episode that takes a more serious turn, Bob recounts the unexpected and emotionally taxing circumstances surrounding his son's birth, and how they affected him and his wife.
A major tone switch from the last episode, Wade is hosting and makes Mark and Bob talk through strange and hilarious scenarios. From having the worst super power imaginable, to living in a world ruled by clowns, and more.
Who is the better friend? Today, Bob and Wade's friendship with Mark is put to the test via some Mark-based trivia.
Bob hosts a conversation about uncomfortable job stories, embarking the guys on a wild trip down memory lane.
On a more serious note than normal, the guys discuss the metaphorical mask, which social situations we put our masks on for, and whether those masked versions of ourselves are really us.
The guys star in an improvised musical about video games, news, or anything else that comes to mind.
Another classic Wade episode with an excellent topic: making the perfect video game. Except it goes horribly wrong. Or does it? Because during today's conversation, no one can seem to agree on anything.
2024
AI Will Smith, Helldivers 2, and listening to your heart. That's what Distractible is really all about.
This episode has something for everyone: TIkTok miners, Warhammer PowerWashing, and boat sex.
Time makes you bolder, video games get older, and the guys are getting older too.
Are we living in a simulation? The dudes venture down the rabbit hole to finally discover the truth... maybe.
In a world of surge pricing, beanie babies, Kit-Kats, and sperm, Distractible always prospers.
Mark is running out of pants, so Bob and Wade are his only hope.
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody milk your dinosaur.
With great power, comes great Distractibility.
It's getting harder to recognize the guys through all that gray hair and wrinkles.
Coming to an IMAX theater near you: Revenge of the Naked Licking VTuber Professors.
Mark forces Bob and Wade at knife point to go against their common sense.
Wade, Bob, and Mark talk all things deadly and what it means to live life to the fullest.
We've finally done it. We've created the perfect Distractible episode that will surely bring this podcast to #1 across the universe.
Technologically impaired Wade guesses which cursed images are real, and which are artificially made.
Still technologically impaired Wade guesses which random descriptions are real vs artificially made.
Grab your mugs filled with covid water and maple syrup, because Wade has got a doozy of a story for you.
Once upon a time, in the land where podcasts remain, Mark and Wade write very strange stories for Bob's son James.
Is Wade cursed? Probably. Time to do something about it.
What could be worse than not listening to Distractible? Trick question, there is nothing worse.
Bob challenges Wade and Mark to a relaxing (not at all rage inducing) game of 20 Questions.
Time to give Bob a taste of his own medicine, and drive Mark even more towards insanity, with another round of 20 Questions!
Old Mark-plier had a farm. E.
There is no excuse for not listening to Distractible. Except maybe when driving...
Wade honors your mom, Bob gets harassed by a spider, and Mark has a very special announcement.
Mark doesn't want to live forever, he just wants to see how much living his body can take.
THEY'RE TRYING TO STOP US! TAKE THIS EPISODE, STUDY IT'S CONTENT, AND PROTECT IT AT ALL COSTS! DO IT NOW, BEFORE IT'S TOO LA- *offline*
100 women vs the 3 dudes. Also Mark can't spell.
Wade attempts to lower the self esteems of Mark and Bob.
Must... have... a peaceful... and not... rage filled... game episode!
So it's come to this... all the drama, the chapstick, the baldness. Now, it's just Wade, Bob, Mark, and a gun.
Captain Mark, First Mate Bob, and Wade board the S.S. Distractible to sail the seven seas in search of the ultimate treasure: new laws for the constitution.
Buckle up, grab your popcorn, and call the best lawyer you know. Because it's time for a Distractible Road Trip to the movies!
The guys finally return back to the place where it all began. (With special guest star: Momiplier)
Wade desperately seeks help from the guys to update Billy Joel's classic hit.
Bob successfully destroys Mark and Wade's egos with trivia.
Happy Birthday Mark! To celebrate, we made some non-artificially dyed punch that you can soak up with your balls!
The guys have seen a lot of good and bad things in their time. Especially Wade, since he’s such an ancient being.
Because the only money you should be spending is at distractiblestore.com
I stupid. You stupid. He/she/me, stupid.
Bob, Mark, and Wade make sweet sweet music with each other.
Red red dye, goes to Mark's head.
Wade, Mark, and Bob embark on a mission to design the perfect mascot for Distractible.
This salty Distractible episode uses cookies, which may or may not be made by secretive elves.
The inner machinations of Wade's mind is an enigma...
Distracted Dudes Look Dumb Doing Daunting Dictions.
Would you still love Distractible if it was a worm?
Bob, Wade, and Mark reveal themselves as the master debaters they really are.
Shhh! There's a new, secret twist to this sequel of the classic Distractible episode.
The question stills needs answering, and the dudes are here to finally solve it...again: Big or Small?
Stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.
Bob, Mark, and Wade reflect on the little victories and major milestones they've had over the years.
Please don't talk to us, talk to Wade instead. He's the extrovert.
Step aside Wade, it's time for Mark to show us all how to properly do "Secret Words." Maybe...
(WARNING: NSFW) Distractible: Bridging the gap between porn and podcasts since 2024.
Are conspiracy theories a game to you?! Good, because that's exaclty what Mark has turned them into.
Step aside Wade and Mark, it's time for Bob to show us all how to properly do "Secret Words"... again...
After years of excruciating research and archaeological breakthroughs, the long lost Distractible ad reads have finally being unearthed!
Wade shines the spotlight on Bob and Mark to showcase their hidden talents and their envy of other people's talent.
Time to crack open the ole Distractopedia and see if Bob, Mark, and Wade can match the correct (and severely cursed) WikiHow image to it's title.
It's a mouse... it's a fly... it's a salmon... no! It's Wade and Bob using their animal instincts to defeat predators in Mark's game.
This episode will leave a good, a bad, and perhaps a poo milk taste in your mouth.
We learn what keeps Mark, Bob, and Wade up at night.
With the spookiest of seasons approaching, there's no better way to pregame than by reflecting on some of the most horrifying moments to ever occur in Distractible history.
Mark and Wade press shuffle on Bob's playlist and let their minds go on a journey.
The dude's reminisce about the good, the bad, and straight up weird experiences they've had with trying new things.
"Looks like stupid is back on the menu, boys!"
It's all fun and games until we bring out the sweaty lawyers and Wade's camera cuts out. NOTE: This episode was recorded months prior, but is being released now to work with the host schedule.
You know what they say: Quit while you're a bald head.
Boo Bob, Wicked Wade, and Mark put their years of spoopy gaming experience to the test in this ghastly challenge.
Is the Gingerdead Man's derisiveness and Lady Dimitrescu hypnosis over Mark powerful enough to earn them the highest award Wade can give?
Mark, Wade, and Bob have a good ole fashioned cringe measuring contest.
The guys are spreading the good word in Bob's new game for Mark and Wade.
Phiwosopher Wade has weturned with an even warger question to expwore: Do we have fwee will?
Professor Mark gives students Bob and Wade the hefty assignment to find the most entertaining and educational content before dismissal.
Wade is (adjective) to be (verb)ing Mark and Bob the challenge to (verb) in this new (noun) all about Mad Libs.
Bob's word games always get us dripping with excitement.
Distractible: America's #1 trusted news source brings you all of the exclusive and unbiased coverage you need for the 2024 presidential election. Pig orgasms.
Never interrupt a pig during his 30 minute orgasm. NEVER.
Bob, Mark and Wade find out if what happens in Florida stays in Florida.
Together, we can Make America Wade Again!
Mark, Wade, and the Mysterious Ghost of Muyskerm climb the ranks by guessing the "Top Ten Things" in Bob's categories.
There are two certainties in life: Mark will ALWAYS have obsessions, and Bob will NEVER be able to own a decent fridge.
If you're having extreme tech issues or dropping your used prophylactics in restaurants… COME ON DOWNNN!!! You’re the next contestant on “The Cost Is Correct!”
Have you heard of the Mark of Theseus?
Forget about video games, Mark bought a kilogram of WHAT?!?!
[Insert description about Mark not having an episode idea here.]
Oh, by gosh, by golly! It's time for buying gifts for Bobby.
Three! Two! One! We Failed! Oh, and happy new year I guess...
New additions to the "Distractible Trigger Kit": a sandwich, a bowl of cereal, and un-torn wrapping paper.
It's always the right time for Distractible. Except maybe while driving.
There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to listeners or viewers. It is a dimension as vast as Mark's hyper-fixations, and lies between the surface of Wade's head and the summit of Bob's knowledge of phone cases. This is the dimension of distraction. It is an episode which we call... The Distractible Paradox.
Pilot Captain Wade takes Mark and Bob on a flight across the country to gaze down upon the oddly named towns of America. And Russia. And Ancient Greece. Wait...
As the podcast returns: Mark recounts his evacuation, Wade still doesn't have a car, and Bob is... the host.
Better keep your eyes open, bidets spraying, and reusable toilet paper wiping for this unbelievable easter egg.
Welcome to the Distractible Cafe! Enjoy a nice hot cup of Mark's Finger Espresso or Wade's Frog Coffee, while relaxing in a chair that was assembled the wrong order by Bob.
Wade gets himself canceled.
No animals were harmed in the making of this episode. Mostly because Mark doesn't know how to use a gun.
Dudes Innovatively Spell The Right Acronyms Correctly Tonight (Nailed it.)
All of Wade's beautiful ideas... gone. Oh well, at least we still have kinky clowns, rooftop ninjas, and extra powerful bidets.
Cloacas, buttholes, and toxic gas. That can only mean one thing... Mark's hosting!
The three founding fathers gather once again to re-evaluate the sacred text that is the "Distractible Constitution."
2025
Mark's life flashes before his very eyes, at the whim of Bob and Wade.
When is this? Where am I? Who's asking me all these trivia questions? Why is that man putting a condom on a bullet? And why is that other man... BALD?!
I want million, you want million, we all want million! (Celebrity guest appearances by Bob's Dad and Benjamin Franklin.)
Things are gettin' real saucy between Wade, Bob, Mark, George & Martha Washington, skating flies, briefcase puppies, and a whole lot of ketchup.
For the price of one penny, you could have all the toy trains, crusty socks, and dead bodies imaginable!
Keep your hands, arms, feet, Pokémon and Blockbuster cards inside Mark's time machine at all times. And remember, every action has an equal and opposite distraction.
A moist bear and a hot fox, both with soapy eyes, walk into a bar in Australia. One orders a "Kadoova", the other orders a "Chump." And let me tell ya, that bartender got the greatest e****ion you've ever seen in your entire life.
Look at my ice! It's time for some good ol' fashioned icebreakers with Bob!
For better or for worse, this episode is about the best and the worst.
This episode of Distractible pleads the fifth. Any further information will require the presence of a lawyer. Or just get Bob or Wade, that should be good enough.
Whether you like it fast or slow, Distractible is here to satisfy.
This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Old Mark-plier had another farm. E.
The dudes are bringing it back home with this one.
WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD, large quantities of beans and hyperventilation.
The Distractible Time Machine™ is still running, and this time Wade is in the driver's seat.
The internet's most reliable news source is back, but maybe not better than ever.
Wade may have screwed up, but at least he's got the voice of an absolute angel.
Orange Is The New Distract.
The greatest public domain story ever told finally comes to the big screen.
Markiplier presents, "A Heist with Bob & Wade."
Can Wade sneak his oozing and thronging weirdness past Mark and Bob?
All of the Distractible crossovers you've dreamt off, jam-packed into one episode!
W asks B & M some grade A "Q"s.
Just because we don't have merch right now, doesn't mean we still can't try to sell you stuff!
Mark wreaks revenge and havoc on Bob and Wade for all those definitely, totally not deserved losses.
Well, that was gross...
Is Mark's masochism, Bob's parental instinct, and Wade's Scottish accent enough to take down 100 gorillas? And we're only getting started...
Chef Wade is back in the kitchen serving up some more hot and steamy euphemisms, with a side of red onions and corn off the cob.
The Yankee Doodle Daddies decide to do some long needed gerrymandering.
The guys play a word game so dumb, even a mechanic fixing Wade's plumbing could do it.
The number one trusted news source for pregnant people, meat puppets, and parrots is back!
What's better than this? Guys being dudes.
If the tech ain't broke, don't fix it. Unless you're Wade, in which case everything is broken.
Everyone's favorite role-playing game just got a whole lot more bald.
Bob and Wade must carry the weight of Mark's game on their shoulders.
What do frogs, cluckin', Franz Ferdinand, and loud moans all have in common? Just ask Wade...
It's been quite some time since Bob last decided torture Mark and Wade with trivia. Let's fix that right now.
Three "expert" gamers share their "expertise" on the past, present, and future of the gaming world.
How well do the guys know their own show? Also, do you smell something...
What's more American than releasing a 4th of July special 3 days after the 4th of July?
I liked Distractible before it was cool.
Look no further, you've come to the right place to gain sacred knowledge about crows, plants, geese, and zombies.
"Bard" Bob doth take Wadeiam Shakespeare and Markbeth out for a night at the theatre.
Can we ever really trust Wade though? Anyone with that amount of shine is sure to have his secrets.
Back in my day, it used to cost only five cents to watch Mark, Bob, and Wade talk about maggots, beavers, and feces.
3 men, one trail, and a whole lot of dysentery and grandfather clocks.
It's time for the devil once again to come collect what's owed to him: a strong argument.
The guys pop a squat and push out some topics for this steaming hot August episode.
Distractible has officially set the record for World's Best Dad, World's Baldest, and World's Shortest.
Mark puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test to see how they can make famous quotes.
Chef Wade Ramsay orders competitors Mark and Bob to the kitchen to cook up some cold-cut truths and sizzlin' hot takes.
Mark challenges Bob and Wade to draw for their lives in this Pictionary style game.
No more monkey-ing around, we have bigger fish to fry... then place in the restaurant bathroom.
The curse of the monkey themed episodes continues to linger as Wade gives Mark and Bob some profound choices to make.
You know it's time to search for pennies when Mark strips down and Wade starts speaking French.
The Distractible hosts are ready to take down the other chart-topping podcasts and reclaim their rightful position to number one.
Another unsolved mystery that started with $10,000 and ended in a knife fight.
Bob shares his big diction energy with Mark and Wade in his obscure word guessing game.
Mark returns from his weekly hospital trip to warn us all about the dangers of eating vegetables.
Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.
Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.
The guys prove that being an adult doesn't keep spoopy characters from attacking if you're naughty.
A walk of atonement is in order for the long list of people that Mark, Bob, and Wade have deemed the most shameful.
The boys are finally back together again in Ohio, ready to let their streams of consciousness flow out in person. And from the looks of their streams, one of the guys is definitely allergic to Skyline, and another has a severe foot injury.
What happens on the Distracti-couch, stays on the Distracti-couch.
Before Wade hosts a game of "Would You Rather," Mark proves that the journey from Ohio isn't always a happy one.
Make sure you got the scary tape handy, because you'll need to keep your hairs from standing after this spoopy episode.
A Distractible episode is worth a thousand words.
Wade continues to keep the spoopy season in gear by hosting a discussion about bald-chilling curses and legends.
Bob returns with another word game that is guaranteed to absolutely destroy Mark and Wade's egos.
Not all battles are worth winning.
Hiii...
View and listen with caution, because no amount of discretion is guaranteed to keep frog swallowing mouse nut babies at bay... especially tonight...
He's making a list, and checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's bald or lacks height.
Listeners, you're responsible for this...
Having a midlife crisis? Don't worry, the guys will make it all go away...
Step aside Bob, there's a shiny new word-smith in town.
Alternate Title: "Wade Struggles For 45 Minutes."
The Distracti-menu specials for tonight are PB & J sandwiches and boiled eggs. And wait until you see what's for dessert...
Another year is almost at a close, but that doesn't mean that there isn't plenty of balding- I mean... BLESSINGS to acknowledge and short-uh... SURE things to look forward to in 2026.
The ultimate test of endurance returns as Mark once again puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test.
The cephalopod confab returns as the guys expound upon what childhood games they'd like to see in their own version of Squid Game.
The guys alphabetically bring out the Christmas cheer with classic tales of elf prison breaks, fast food snowmen, gigantic Santas, and a whole lot of everyone's favorite character: Ligolo.
New year, new games, same bald, same 'naise.
Bob and Mark motivate Wade to start his 2026 New Year's resolutions.
The reviews are in, and critics are raving: "Finally! A star that out-shines the rest!" - The Minion Chronicle "If I said I didn't like it, that would be a bald-faced lie." - The Hairless Herald "I can't f**king see!" - Bob
Mark's movie is almost out, Wade finds some time to relax, and Bob introduces his bouncing baby girl, Dor (but who tf cares about her.)
The guys bundle up for a trip down memory lane and share their (maybe) true stories from snow days.
Your favorite Distractible game just got a whole lot more medical.
The "Lost Boys" take a trip to Neverland to share the childhood things they'll never be too old for.
Is that the piercing sound of an explosion, or Mark trying to sing in falsetto? We'll never know... Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.
Wade's not bald, he's just drawn that way. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.
Fortunately, Wade has a new improv game for Bob and Mark. Unfortunately, bald.
The three angy boys discuss what turns each of them into grumpy-wumpy-wumpersons.
Don't your worry your precious head, just relax and let the good doctors do their jobs. *Gun Gary walks in*
Who's that peeping back at you through your telescope? Is it Mupiter? The Death Star Boob? One can only wonder...
Bob and Wade go into the field to bring the hottest, slipperiest, and trippiest scoops to you.
Professor Wade "Bald" Barnes quizzes students Mark and Bob on their knowledge of the alphabet.
Bob tries to make sense of Mark and Wade's senses.
WARNING: For today only, avoid recording ADR, baking bread, solving math equations, and watching movies starring Will Smith.
Bob brings back a classic Distractible game, dicier than ever.
What happened to Mark at the Oscars, and what's that under Bob's shoe?
What do book fairs, dentists, and summer camp have in common? Well, the bible says...
Bob decides to raise Mark and Wade's blood pressure, to test their already fragile health.
Anything is on the table when the horny penguins and metal pipes come out to play.
Dear Penthouse Forum, I can't believe it happened to him.
Bob and Wade make everything terrible for Mark.
Quick, get flat!
No perfectest crime? Well hey, everyone makes mistakes.
Hear ye, hear ye! The council of three declare new laws for thee!
2026
Fortunately, Wade is finally hosting another episode! Unfortunately, he's still bald.
The guys have a good ol' master debate session to answer the burning question: Hard or Soft?
The guys have a heart to heart, bald to Bob, and Go to Pro conversation about their personal struggles with feeling burnout.
Welcome to "Mark's Sponsorship Dreams Gets Crushed Yet Again" Simulator.
How well do Bald and Dad know Short?
Bald Bombs Away! Everyone take cover right- wait a minute... are you the guy from Distractible?
To cheer up Mark from being sick on his birthday, Bob and Wade share stories of their own bad birthday experiences.
This game about firsts is making me firsty.
Detectives Bob and Wade are on the case to piece together the clues left at the scene of the perfect crime.
The guys make up for lost small talk and discuss the highs and lows of this year so far.
Bob's foot is injured, and only Wade and Mark can save him from boredom.
He's bald. He's Wade.
Streaming availability information not available
Mark Fischbach
Host
Robert Muyskens
Host
Wade Barnes
Host
Baldermort
Title Card Reader
