Brainiac: Science Abuse(2003–2008)

Episode 1

Can high explosives make your donner kebab taste the business. Can safety equipment really protect your body from attack. Can we turn a mobile phone into a time bomb. Brainiac boffin Jon Tickle finds out whether eating bagels can make you fail a drug test. Is staring at a woman’s breasts for 30 minute the equivalent of a 30 minute workout. What will make a man run faster – greed or fear? We travel to Swindon to experiment with Mexican waves. Is it better to be Fat or Thin in a sinking ship? We try to break open a safe by dropping it from a great height. Does laughing gas really make everything funny.

Episode 2

How to make perfect toast - the lazy man’s way. NASA eat your heart out, we join the space race with shopping trollies. We ask which food produces the smelliest fart. Can Brainiac Boffin Jon Tickle walk on custard. Brainiacs play golf to test the laws of probability. If you’ve got something important the next day, is it better to be tired or wired. Jon Tickle launches his office rocket. We find out if pheromone spray works on our lovely Julie. Three firemen tackle our safe. And Fat v Thin continues.

Episode 3

Can we accelerate as fast as a jet on a kiddies roundabout. Smash and grab – can a stock car team crack one of the world’s toughest safes. Would you bet your teeth on the laws of science. Resident Brainiac Boffin Jon Tickle takes to the water. How much weight can you lose by having a dump. Making chips – the lazy man’s way. Does a duck’s quack echo. How many times can you fold a piece of paper in half. Which commonly used household oil is the most dangerous. Why are you lighter on a morning than when you go to bed. We test subliminal advertising. And Fat v Thin continues.

Episode 4

High voltage hi-jinks – our team of brainiacs gets to grips with electricity. We scientifically measure how much better looking women become after a couple of pints. Crackpot scientist Dr. Bunhead meddles with liquid oxygen. Tossing a salad, the lazy man’s way. We find out what goes on inside your stomach. After trying our carbon dioxide vehicles on land and water, now we try the sky. Does it cost less to send a parcel if it’s filled with helium balloons. What is the largest paper plane that will actually fly. Does a tooth dissolve if it’s left in a glass of cola overnight. Can you learn while you sleep. Former specialised debt collector Dave Courtney tackles our safe. And Fat v Thin continues.

Episode 5

Ginger whingers – are redheads more sensitive to pain than brunettes. Taking down their particulars – is a job interview easier if the panel are naked. Indestructible objects – are they, really. Brainiac Boffin Jon Tickle really pushes his luck. Dog Whistles – If we can’t hear them, how do we know they work. If sports drinks get into your body faster, can they get out again quicker. After eating a kebab which drink is best to cool your mouth. Can you see the stars during the day if you’re at the bottom of a well. Modern art, the lazy man’s way. Explosives experts tackle the safe. And Fat v Thin continues.

Episode 1

Can you swim as fast through syrup as you can through water. We check wind speed down at the lab. We find out why you shouldn’t muck around with lawnmowers. Electricity goes on tour. What is Britain’s stickiest fixer. Can you open an umbrella underwater. Do clever people have heavier heads. Is it possible to get drunk without drinking. And carefully does it – by popular demand, we’ve tracked down the most dangerous chemical yet – stand by for Thermite.

Episode 2

Pants or tights – which is the best DIY bungee. Can you play fruit machines for free. We inflict more suffering down at the lab. Stand well back, we put more stuff in a microwave and more caravans into orbit. What is the best way to get rid of stinky breath. Which is the scariest ride at the funfair. What’s the best food to use in a food fight. What’s the best alternative hair removal product. Lad v Lass tests which is better when remembering things about people.

Episode 3

Bunging things in microwaves, stuffing your face full of chocolate and chucking dry food down your neck. Also, we throw brainiacs around to make them throw up. We inflict more mindless destruction on innocent caravans. Is the anything you can do the night before to prevent you getting a hangover the next day. Lad v Lass discovers which is better at telling colours apart.

Episode 4

We race against high explosives. We show you why you shouldn’t put dynamite in your microwave. We tell you how to win on the fairground grabber. Jon Tickle puts his foot down in garlic. What happens if you suck in helium then blow into a wind instrument. Which is the best way to eat peas. How far will a pencil write. Which is Britain’s slidiest food. Men vs Women - who spends the longer in the toilet. Lad v Lass discovers which is better in a staring contest.

Episode 5

We take on the world’s best at darts – Brainiac style. Testing to destruction – microwaves and washing machines. Answering the big ones down at the warehouse. Burning through our cash with the help of Thermite. Quiet please – more splintering caravans on the 18th green. Is it possible to do a 360 on a swing. Which is Britain’s stickiest spread. Does dipping somebody’s hand in warm water while asleep make them wet themselves. Can you lose weight in a lift. Which is Britain’s noisiest food. Top tips for winning at laser games. Which is the fastest fast food. Blondes have more fun – do they. Lad v Lass discovers which is it best to be in identifying smells.

Episode 6

What not to grab if you jump out of a building. Not for the faint hearted – experiments on roller coasters. Getting down to the big questions down at the lab. What is Britain’s stretchiest food. We perform an eggsperiment on Brainiac Joe. How permanent is a permanent marker. What is the quickest way to send a text. Going on a picnic – how to tell it’s not going to rain. Does eating floaty foods produce floaty poo. Can the carbon dioxide wheelchair win in a race. Cutting up onions – what should you do if you don’t want to blub in the kitchen. Lad v Lass discovers which is better at remembering.

Episode 7

Bangs and crashes – we have plenty. Where’s the most painful place to rip out a hair. Brainiacs soak up more bad treatment for science. What household objects to grab in a civil war. If you eating popping candy and drink cola will your stomach explode. Which is the most absorbent fibre. Which is the fastest way to go down the funfair slide. When it’s raining, should you walk or run. What is the best way to beef up a conker. What is the best way to eat spaghetti.

Episode 8

It’s the last show in the series and we’re going out with a bang. Bunging the whole lot into a couple of microwaves – stand well back. We find out how to win at the dogs and the funfair arcade. What chemicals not to put in your spin dryer. Which is Britain’s best dunking biscuit. Do different foods do strange things to your wee. Does eating fish improve your brain power. We wave goodbye to a brainiac – where not to hide when the bomb goes up.

Episode 1

Richard Hammond chucks televisions out of a moving van in the search to find the world's most protective packaging. Brainiac boffin Jon Tickle gets caught up in DIY quicksand. Will 100 muskets and a cannon be enough to destroy a black box flight recorder? What happens when you add the world's most dangerous metals to water? Is it better to be tall or small in rush hour? More things NOT to put in your microwave. Which is the world's hottest sauce? Can you boil an egg with 100 mobile phones? And can you stop rock and roll with the help of a crane and a caravan? And Brainiac goes interactive - giving you the chance to vote and win a day out with high explosives.

Episode 2

Can a noise frequency make you poo your pants? What happens when you od on 02? Can you serve wine whilst being electrocuted?5 top Brainiac tips to help you beat the slot machines Will a Napalm attack destroy a black box flight recorder? Who will win in race between a slug, a snail and a tortoise? What to do if you're caught unawares by global warmingDoes being tickled create a pant wetting experience? More things not to put in your microwave Do tight pants make you go faster? Plus Tina Turner and her Bunsen burner and Brainiac gives you the chance to win a starring role on the final show of the series

Episode 3

Richard Hammond finds out whether or not you can you really smell fear? We put more things we shouldn't inside a microwave oven. We make snooker interesting with the help of Quintin Hann, 6 caravans and some propane gas. Is it possible to drink lager whilst being electrocuted? Can an increase in testosterone make a wimp well 'ard. Status Quo put the rock and roll into acoustic science. We check out more things Jon Tickle's body can't do. Charlotte Hudson is on hand to help a member of the public ' do science'. The Homer Simpson of science Dr Bunhead takes his lab to the local - and gets barred! And your chance to vote and win a starring role on Brainiac with Explosive of the week.

Episode 4

Richard Hammond puts DIY parachutes to the test. We find out if it's possible to go on a romantic dinner date whilst being electrocuted? Does getting scared make you stronger? The cheeky girls pay a visit to the Brainiac lab. Tina Turner and her bunsen burner are back with a bang. Jon Tickle takes the p out of science and drinks it. We try and stop rock and roll with the help of a chainsaw. Plus your chance to vote and win a starring role on the final show of the series as Brainiac goes interactive with explosive of the week.

Episode 5

Which is faster - a motorbike, a golf ball, or a firework? Brainiac boffin Jon Tickle goes undercover with X-Ray specs. Vacuum cleaning - does it really suck? Brainiacs get sloshed checking out hangover cures. We do more bad things with a microwave oven. Tina Turner and her Bunsen burner are back with another big bang. It's slime time for Dr Bunhead! And a bunch of toffs take on our black box flight recorder.

Episode 6

What's the best way to drive when you're running on empty? Jon Tickle uses science to pick a date for the evening. More microwave meals cooked Brainiac style. What's the fastest way to get ketchup out a bottle? NEW FEATURE: The Appliance of Science! Tina Turner takes time out from recording her new album to blow something up. Pins and needles - We check out Brainiacupuncture!

Episode 7

The science of spittle. CO2 the sequel; racing with fire extinguishers! Dr Bunhead peddles more unwanted science tricks down at his local boozer. We use science to turn a softie into a fully-fledged hard man. Spoilsports! The Brainiac Sports distraction team are let loose on the golf course. Viewer Jade Hudson uses hamster power to fire up her telly. And Brainiac goes interactive offering one lucky viewer a starring role on the final show of the series!

Episode 8

Battle of the bats - we ask "Which is Britain's best sport?." Does time really fly when you're having fun? Thank God for science - we say cheerio to another caravan. Will a blackbox flight recorder survive an acid bath? Brainiac boffin Jon Tickle goes ballistic with the help of some fruit and veg. Which socks are the slipperiest? Tina Tuner + her Bunsen Burner + TNT = A recipe for disaster. We go gardening the lazy man's way. And your last chance to vote and win with Explosive of the week.

Episode 9

We investigate Britain's most dangerous household products. Brainiac boffin Jon Tickle tests out DIY spud guns. We nip off down the boozer to see if old wives' tales about drinking are true. Can you juggle whilst being electrocuted? A page three stunna, an opera singer, and a deep-sea diver - who has the biggest lungs? Martial arts v rock and roll - place your bets! Tall v small battle it out at the car wash. And what to do in winter when you can't afford to buy a sledge. Oh yes, another caravan bites the dust.

Episode 10

All the fun of the fair - we check out dodgem car physics. See you later - we say goodbye to another caravan! Do fast music - and distracting passengers - make you drive badly? We get fruity down at the lab. Bone idle, bog cleaning with the Lazy Man's Guide. Meals in minutes - more microwave mayhem. Can a monkey psyche out a psychic? Elbow licking - the sequel. Plus the return of Tall v Small!

Episode 11

Washing your smalls - the lazy man’s way. Does drinking lager make you bad at sport. What happens if you eat carrots for a month. The black box gets a kicking from a Bigfoot. Quiet please, we go snooker loopy and crack open another caravan. Back garden ballistics tries firing bowling balls and watermelons. And we see how dangerous chewing gum really is.

Episode 12

Pooey, how do brainiacs smell after their Friday night curry. New balls please, we go golfing, the lazy man’s way. Jon Tickle get moosical down at the farm. Torturing brainiacs in the name of science. Isn’t science fun, we rid the planet of another caravan. Do holidays make you thick. Which is loudest, a baby or a drill. When people talk about you, do your ears really go red. And Tall v Small returns.

Episode 1

In the return of a new series former MP Neil Hamilton goes in the electric chair, there's a search for the UK's fizziest drink, which is Britain’s loudest bang, which food stuff makes the best DIY shaving cream, a lucky viewer becomes Brainiac for a day, a Hollywood star pays a visit to the Brainiac lot, how many 360 degree turns can you do without falling over, Dr. Bunhead is at a service station near you, and get ready for the world series of Brainiac darts.

Episode 2

Jon Tickle explores the colour of belly button fluff, what is the squirtiest food, the gunpowder is back to race humans, what happens when you depth charge an aquarium, Debbie McGee takes on the electric chair, who’s better - left handers or right handers, what’s the best word for a smiley photo and we kiss goodbye to another caravan.

Episode 3

How many helium balloons can it take to lift a human, what is Britain's stainiest food, Brainiac for a day blows up some melons, another Hollywood star pays us a visit, what is the best way to get rid of stress, can you eat upside-down, can you locate water by dowsing, Oliver Skeete faces the electric chair and we send more caravans into orbit.

Episode 4

The entertaining science show engages in more experiments with the main features in this episode being: Testing out the a variety of substances to determine the most itchiest, Can you run through wallpaper?, The search for the strongest bat, Finding out which food gives off the longest lasting smell and finding out if helium makes a stereo sound squeaky. More Microwaves and Caravans go boom and Derek Achorah is the celebrity on helium.

Episode 5

In tonight's episode of Brainiac, we are taken through a variety of experiments including: The best way to pee in a public bathroom, The most effective way to get rid of a stitch and how many strands of spaghetti can you break with your bare hands.

Episode 6

Can a shopping trolley break the speed limit, Jeremy Spake trys out the electric chair, what is Britain’s best DIY sneeze, can enough monkeys write Shakespeare, which is the worst food to leave lying around in your fridge, can you blow up a balloon under water and can you stop fingers going wrinkly when wet.

Episode 7

Which is best – dog or brainiac, Sian Lloyd tries out the electric chair, what is Britain’s messiest sandwich, which is Britain’s toughest cereal, five top tips on taking a number two in the public loo, can humans eat dog food.

Episode 8

In Tonight's episode of Brainiac. We go through a range of experiments including: Finding out which is the most painful place on the body to pinch, Finding out what happens if you jump at the last second of a lift-freefall, What food pets really like, What the fastest way to travel on foot is, and many more.

Episode 1

Thaila Zucchi presents regular segment How Hard Is Your Thing? in which she puts viewers' submissions through a series of intense tests to find the hardest object in the land. Vic Reeves sends a portable toilet airborne and a magic trick is updated with an electrifying twist.

Episode 2

Jon Tickle, Vic Reeves and Thaila Zucchi investigate the fastest way to eat eggs, how many pieces of sticky tape are needed to lift a car and how to turn vegetables supersonic with the aid of a pneumatic cannon and a rocket on a wire. Plus, Abi Titmuss and Frank Bruno try to blow up their caravans.

Episode 3

Jon Tickle, Vic Reeves and Thaila Zucchi join forces to wreak havoc in the laboratory, tackling humorous and heated experiments guaranteed to raise a few eyebrows.

Episode 4

Jon Tickle and Vic Reeves join forces to wreak havoc in the laboratory, while Thaila Zucchi presents regular segment How Hard Is Your Thing? - in which she tests viewers' submissions to find the hardest object in the land.

Episode 5

Jon Tickle and Richard Hammond join forces to wreak havoc in the laboratory, while a camping celebrity is left homeless when the team destroys their caravan.

Episode 6

Jon Tickle and Vic Reeves are joined by Thaila Zucchi, who presents regular segment How Hard Is Your Thing? in which she puts viewers' submissions through a series of intense tests to find the hardest object in the land.

Episode 7

Episode 8

Jon Tickle, Richard Hammond and Thaila Zucchi wreak havoc as they tackle a series of outrageous scientific experiments guaranteed to raise a few eyebrows.

Episode 9

Jon Tickle and Vic Reeves are joined by Thaila Zucchi, who presents regular segment How Hard Is Your Thing?, in which she puts viewers' possessions through a series of intense tests to find the hardest object in the land.

Picnic

Vic Reeves takes over as the new host of Brainiac for a fifth series. This week the brainiacs are testing out such things as: can you run through a wall of sellotape and what is the fastest means of transport for your luggage!

Artist

.Vic Reeves tests the fire resistance of a meringue, and assists Jon Tickle in an attempt to create a DIY earthquake using Dynamite. Plus, Rik Waller takes part in the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution.

Ramblers

Vic Reeves, Jon Tickle and Charlotte Hudson join forces to wreak havoc in the laboratory, and try to answer a selection of puzzling scientific questions. The trio are joined by GMTV weather presenter Clare Nasir, who takes part in the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution challenge.

Football

Vic Reeves, Jon Tickle and Charlotte Hudson continue their madcap antics and try to answer a selection of puzzling scientific questions. This week the Braniacs are joined by Tony Hadley on helium and The Salon's Ricardo Reido as he attempts the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution challenge.

Camping

Vic Reeves, Jon Tickle and Charlotte Hudson continue to wreak havoc in the laboratory, and try to answer a selection of puzzling scientific questions. The trio are joined by former England cricketer Mark Butcher, who attempts the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution challenge.

Fishing

Lady Isabella Hervey accepts the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution challenge while she trains at the gym. The Braniacs fill a shed full of fireworks, and attempt to make a knickerbocker glory in a microwave. Vic Reeves and his team attempt to answer the questions that have baffled scientists for years.

Orienteering

Vic Reeves attempts to create music using rockets, and Jon Tickle carries out an experiment to see if the additive monosodium glutamate really does enhance the taste of foods. Eddie the Eagle joins the madcap team and accepts the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution challenge.

Bird Watching

Vic Reeves and Jon Tickle attempt to find the best rocket fuel using takeaway food such as pizza and kebabs, and Sky News presenter Kay Burley agrees to take the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution challenge.

Sun bather

Vic Reeves and Jon Tickle attempt to find out how destructive a water bomb can be, and a father tests his son's honesty by seeing how far he can throw him. Plus, DJ Brandon Block takes on the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution Challenge.

Farmer

Vic Reeves sets out to create a personal rocket pack aimed at improving commuting times, and 2008 Strictly Come Dancing champion Camilla Dallerup faces the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution Challenge. Meanwhile, Jon Tickle tries to find out whether it would be more painful being hit when it is cold than when it is warm.

Dog owner

Horse-racing pundit John McCririck undergoes the Celebrity Day Job Electrocution Challenge, while Vic Reeves and Jon Tickle test the flying abilities of household objects. Plus, a look at the crumbliest foods and an experiment to try out a variety of alternative fire extinguishers, including a steam roller and explosives.