America's Dumbest Criminals(1996–2000)

Sticking to the Job

In the first episode of Season 2 of "America's Dumbest Criminals", we'll meet offenders who are "Sticking to the Job," enjoying "Naked Brunch," someone who becomes a "Locked-In Loser" and a total "Potty Mouth."

Towing Nowhere Fast

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll meet delinquents who think they're "Out of the Frying Pan," "Towing Nowhere Fast," one who is a "Starving Stooge," a total "Incompetent" and someone who is "Always on the Job."

Keyless Klutz

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals", we'll meets offenders with nicknames like "Keyless Klutz," "Bad Liver Lady," "Cheap Trick" and "Stash Flash," we'll meet a "Wiener Dog" and hear some "Courthouse Rock."

Dial-A-Narc

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," culprits will "Dial-A-Narc," remind us you "You Only Live Vice," discover "Scales on the Roof," explore the "Second Time Around" learn "Baste Not, Want Not" and go "Out on a Limb."

Asinine Alibis

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals,"offenders use "Asinine Alibis," try on "Santa Clogs," reveal that they're a "Swinging Single" and remind you "Diamonds are a Kid's Best Friend."

Stuffed Turkey

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," culprits try to get away with a "Stuffed Turkey," meet "Swamp Things," someone will try "Taunting Car Robber" and we'll discover the misery of the "Safe Quakers."

Courting Trouble

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness delinquents "Courting Trouble," ones who "Batter Up, decide to start "Dumbin' in the Rough" and another who becomes a "Restaurant Roof Clown."

Bottled Up Robber

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll witness the "Bottled Up Robber," "Fumigation Burglar" and experience a "Rocky Mountain High."

Shell Shocked

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," idiots will get "Shell Shocked," attempt the "Swipe and Wipe," experience "Heist Anxiety" and we'll witness the "Rice Man Cometh."

Crate Escape

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," deliquents will attempt a "Crate Escape," show off their "Bad News Boobs," try on their "Gotta Be the Shoes" and make a "Pit Stop."

Caught Off Guard

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminal,s" offenders will be "Caught Off Guard," experience "Squirrel Nut Speeder," realize they're "Not Out of the Woods" and request "One Moment Please."

Easy Offed

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll see idiots get "Easy Offed," notice someone "Flew the Coop," meet "Helena Handbag" and get the "Door Jammed."

The Boulder, The Stupider

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll understand "The Boulder, the Stupider," "Moon Over First Fed," see how "Brothers Cool Off" and experience the "Road Flasher."

Helping Hands

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" someone gets "Helping Hands," a criminal gets a "Walked Dog, Curbed Brain," we witness "Chasing Lamey," and another struggles with "Shorts of Breath."

Lights, Camera, Busted

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll see someone get "Lights, Camera, Busted," witness "A Gutsy Gal Applying Herself," see a criminal get "All Dressed Up" and ask "You Want Butter on Your Fingers?"

Roller Bullies

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," we'll laugh at "Roller Bullies, a "Motorhome Madman," the "Breaking of a Habit" and an instance of "Monkey Not See, Monkey Do."

Rookie Robber

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a driver hands over more than his license, a pair of newlyweds get a gift they won't forget, a couple of rookie robber make a bad first impression and officers discover catching two dumb criminals is better than one.

A Soggy Suspect

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a soggy suspect leaves a sopping trail for the cops, a shifty shopper checks out with more than his receipt, a casual crook makes a fashion faux pas and a man shoots mental blanks.

A Boatload of Bozos

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a boatload of bozos toss more than their cookies in a high speed chase, a spaced-out suspect picks the wrong day to film home movies, a masked moron hitches the wrong ride home and a mugger makes sly moves on the wrong couple.

Chilly Willy Strikes a Pose

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a chilly willy strikes a pose, a peculiar pinhead poaches a puppy, a sticky fingered felon gets his day in court and a chatty Cathy expresses her innermost thoughts.

Follow-the-Loser

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a couple of kids have a counter fit, a man enjoys his room with a view, cops play a little follow-the-loser and a woman shares her arts and crafts secrets.

Dress for Success

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals, " a drunk does some local landscaping, a crook takes an unusual pit stop, a burglar dresses for success and a suspect has the last word down at the station.

An Indecent Proposal

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a man adds more than sugar to his coffee, a yuletide burglar gets caught with his pants down, a loser picks the wrong place to light up and a stoner makes an indecent proposal to a cop.

Halloween Hoodlum

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a Halloween hoodlum picks the wrong clerk to hold up, an arguing couple lets a cop settle their differences, a bank robber gets robbed during his getaway and a crook gets caught with the goods after a car accident.

Moronic Macarena

In this episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals," a crook packs his bags and makes a run for it, a kid does a moronic Macarena on a friend's car, a salivating senior expresses his feelings for a local store, and a guy in his birthday suit gets pulled over for speeding.

Best Dressed Burglars

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals”, we’ll witness joy riding teenagers desperately in need of drivers Ed, some best dressed burglars, and a scenario worse than just getting your hand stuck in a toilet.

Man vs. Machine

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal getting away more evil than Knievel, an insider theft of diamonds big enough to choke on and a relentless battle of man vs. machine.

Funeral Flare-Up

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a small town getting terrorized by a big pig, a hard hitting reminder of why should always wear a helmet and a flare-up at a funeral home.

Home Exterminator

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a home exterminator ridding a house of valuables, a camera catching a burglar literally breaking and then entering and a criminal who got the shaft before court.

Rookie Robbery

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness two rookie robbers starting a life of crime, a lady who holds a full mink coat in her stretch pants and a liquor store robber whose plan is 100 proof stupid.

Restroom Robber

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal you might mistake for an action star, a man caught in the women’s restroom and a guy looking to meet girls by breaking into cars.

Squirreled Away

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness some serious squirrel coaxing, an ATM that became an ATV when bank robbers went on the road and a man who hopes no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Singing for Supper

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a huge divide of loot when you bring everyone you know on a caper, a group of officers that make criminals sing for their supper and a clever way to break into a store.

Private Peeping Tom

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a peeping Tom protective over his territory, a drunk driver who leaves a lasting impression that leaves him high and dry and a man wired on more than nicotine.

Stealing Stinks

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a man who broke into a van and got more than he bargained for, a robber who could use a pale and shovel for his disguise and a guy who literally reeks of guilt.

Stool Pigeon

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a parrot that might really be a stool pigeon, some teenagers out in the middle of the night and the world’s slowest car chase.

Half-Baked Burglary

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness what happens when a guy has a half-baked idea to steal a bread truck, a major mistake with a major appliance that stops a crook cold and much more.

Bumper Crop

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness someone trying to make their mark, a photo-happy proud pot-grower and someone who skimps on the expense of a full-time getaway driver.

On Thin Ice

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a crook sliding on thin ice before a major slip-up, a wakeup call for criminals to select a new career and much more.

Meter-Maid Rescue

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a guy choosing a strange way to make up with his girlfriend, the underestimated crime-fighting force of meter-maids and much more.

Chimney Surprise

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a few criminals who try to play “Santa” and dive down a chimney, a cab driver who gets the best of a passenger and a man who should have just called a ride.

Pot Pup

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a pup with some pot whose owners get collared, law enforcement’s cool new invention and a thief with a flood of problems.

Picture Perfect

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a developing case of picture perfect stupidity, a clumsy duct-dwelling criminal with nowhere to vent his anger and a dope two time zones from his destination.

Sticky Fingers

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal who missed his exit by a long shot, a criminal-tagging pizza boomerang and some misguided fellows who turn themselves in after a wrong turn.

Houdumbi

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a getaway plan based on running in a circle, a silly crook whose magic trick earns him the name Houdumbi and a blockhead in a cell who regrets passing a note.

Saucy Saga

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a toilet-bound wrench-wielding sector of society, a man in his birthday suit caught by an undercover officer and the saucy saga of a man saved by a grocery item.

Whose Got Mail?

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a mailman hungry for birthday cards, a man intoxicated by his molotov cocktail and a canine officer with a story that’d be a mistake to ignore.

Need a Lift

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a couple getting more than their belongings back, a cop that helps a criminal with his pants and a fella who can’t recall his unforgettable night.

Short Fuse

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a criminal with a handful of dynamite and a short fuse, a crook getting familiar with license plates before jail and a sure-fire accident waiting to happen.

Diaper Boy

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a video proving the escalator won’t be the only thing going down, a camera showing more than bears in the woods and a diaper-fitted criminal who earns a spanking.

Return to Cinder

In the premiere episode of "America's Dumbest Criminals" we'll witness a guy who graduated from the school of hard knocks, a chef with a recipe for arrest and a drug bust with a twist. Featuring segments "Return to Cinder," "Cooking with Crack" and "Yabba Dabba Dude."

Blunted Burglary

In this episode of “America’s Dumbest Criminals,” we’ll witness a man wearing a useless disguise, a criminal who forgot to bring a gun to a shootout and a not-so-sharp thief who put an antique knife in his pocket.

Gun Target