The Phil Silvers Show(1955–2001)

New Recruits

During a poker game the other sergeant's cheat and clean Bilko out of his bankroll so he has to look around for some more money. Just when it looks like he will miss out a new squad of rookies arrive for basic training. With a new source of cash the platoon think he can get back into the game but Bilko's conscience will not let him.

The Empty Store

Bilko is still broke and can't find a way back into the big poker game. When the three sergeant's win again, by beating one of the new recruits, Bilko decides to get even by renting an empty store and getting the sergeant's to invest in it

The WAC

A job comes up for a sergeant that has a jeep allocated Bilko applies for it only to find that he is beaten by a Sgt Joan Hogan. (1st appearance by Elisabeth Fraser As Joan Hogan)

The Horse

Bilko loses the platoon welfare money on a horse only to find out that it is suffering from a minor leg injury, with the last of the platoon's money he buys the horse and has to keep it on the post until it is fit to run Then a visiting general comes on a surprise visit

AWOL

Pvt Steve Nagy goes awol so Bilko has to go and fetch him back only to find himself caught up in the middle of a family feud

The Boxer

Bilko discovers that one of the platoon Claude Dillingham is a boxing champ so Bilko enters him for the interplatoon championship only to learn that Dillingham refuses to fight

The Hoodlum

After several transfers a young tough guy is moved to the motor pool platoon and it is left to the Bilko to cut him down to size. Meanwhile Bilko is after the ' Soldier of the Month' competition. Little does he know that the tough guy will spring a surprise.

Mardi Gras

When the platoon ask local socialite Miss Joy Landers to be their Mardi Gras queen she laughs and turns them down flat, so Bilko finds a way to change her mind.

The Eating Contest

In an eating contest between the platoons Bilko puts his money on a new member of the platoon nicknamed 'The Stomach' only to find that he can only eat when he is depressed

The Centennial

Bilko organises a pageant to celebrate 100 years of Camp Baxter but after some investigation finds that it does not show the camp in a very good light

Bivouac

When maneuvers come round again the Colonel is interested in which illness Bilko has in order to miss out on the joys of marching through the countryside. In order to make him go the colonel uses reverse psychology

The Singing Contest

Bilko hears of a singing contest in Miami and to get away from the bitterly cold weather he enters the platoon but on hearing them sing he puts a bet on for them to lose. While he is putting on the bet a new platoon member is found to have a beautiful singing voice

The Twitch

Colonel Hall tells Bilko to provide an audience for a lecture on music. He finds that nobody wants to come until they learn that the lecture will be given by a friend of the Colonel's wife and they can bet on the number of ' twitches' that she will give during the lecture

The Reunion

When Bilko meets up with his old army buddies, he thinks that they are going to be so short of money, that he is going to have to help them out , but it turns out that they have all been very successful.

The Rich Kid

Bilko gets an idea to buy the local bar and grill, but he is stumped for cash, until he learns that one of the platoon's new recruits, is heir to a steel fortune. So they play up to him in order to get him to invest in their scheme, but Bilko's conscience wins out in the end.

Hollywood

Hollywood plans a film of the ' Battle of Kabuchi' and they hire Bilko as the technical adviser, but after a couple of days he has taken over the whole production, and the film people want shot of him.

The Investigation

A Congressional committee visit Fort Baxter to investigate waste and high living but Bilko has other ideas, he wants a pay rise instead

Kids In the Trailer

While babysitting for a member of the platoon Bilko panics when he finds that he can't change the baby's nappy

The Revolutionary War

Bilko's aunt sends him a diary showing him that his great uncle Joshua was on the staff of George Washington so Bilko applies to become an officer but on reading the diary he discovers that Joshua was a traitor so Bilko keeps quiet and withdraws his application

The Transfer

When the Colonel makes life difficult Bilko decides to bluff and puts in a transfer, but the Colonel calls the bluff and Bilko is on his way, but at his new camp life is to easy and Bilko hopes he can find a way to get back to Camp Baxter

The Rest Cure

During a heat wave Bilko discovers that the army have a rest centre in the Rockies but the trick is trying to persuade the doctors and the Colonel to let him go there

Dinner at Sowici's

When Bilko thinks that Joan is trying to trap him into marriage, he takes her to dinner at Sgt Sowici's to see how bad marriage can be, but they are in for a surprise.

Army Memoirs

When Sgt's Pendleton,Grover, and Sowici get Bilko busted to private, he gets his own back by pretending to write a book on his army life

Miss America

When Bilko asks for pictures of the platoons girlfriends Pvt Honnagar shows them a photo of a beautiful girl taken years ago. they think it is his girl but they have a surprise in store

The Court Martial

When Zippo the ape is accidently inducted into the army the only way to get the army off the hook is to get Bilko as defense council and court martial the ape before anybody finds out

Furlough in New York

Bilko and Joan Hogan go separately to New York and keep missing each other but when they meet up again at Fort Baxter they find that they have somehow ended up with each others dog tags

The Big Uranium Strike

Bilko suspects that there are large deposits of uranium underneath Fort Baxter but he has to get rid of the Colonel before he can start digging

Bilko and the Beast

When a new drill sergeant known as ' The Beast ' takes over at Fort Baxter Bilko and the platoon come up with a scheme to get rid of him

The Physical Check Up

When Bilko tries to get out of a 20 mile hike the Colonel preempts him and allows him to miss the hike Bilko is so shocked that he thinks the Colonel might be trying to get rid of him

The Recruiting Sergeant

When Bilko gets a tip from a jockey on a horse he persuades the Colonel to take him on a recruiting drive to Topeka so he can get to a bookie and get a bet on

Hair

Bilko's head is constantly being used by his barber to find a cure for baldness. The other three sergeants know this and while Bilko is asleep decide to play a trick on him, but Bilko has the last laugh

The Con Men

When Doberman gets a $500 windfall from an insurance policy, he loses it in a poker game with three con men. Bilko gets it back by conning the con men, but then Doberman loses it again by being conned into buying the hotel from another con man

War Games

Bilko is asked to be best man at a friends wedding but it coincides with a war game battle between the army and the national guard

Platoon in the Movies

The platoon is chosen to make a film about the correct use of the spark plug.

It's For The Birds

Bilko looks around for an expert to go on the 64,000 Dollar quiz show on TV. He ends up with Pvt Honnegar who is an expert on wildlife, After surviving a loss of memory he wins the money but he has a surprise in store for Bilko

Bilko Goes To College

When a local gangster insults the army Bilko takes a bet of 1000 -1 That the local College Schmill can beat Notra Dame in a football game. Nobody gives them a chance, but when Bilko gets to work on the press they start to believe that Schmill can win.

The Girl From Italy

Rocco's brother refuses to marry a girl brought over from Italy so Bilko sets out to make him jealous and to change his mind

The Face On The Recruiting Poster

Bilko hopes to get a handsome young recruit noticed by Hollywood so he tries to get the soldier's face on the new army recruiting poster. But first he must pass a test on the army and with Doberman coaching him a surprise is in store.

Bilko's War Against Culture

When two special service officers come to educate the platoon the men promise Bilko they will not attend the lectures until they see who attractive the ladies are

The Song Of The Motor Pool

Bilko looks for a song that the motor pool can adopt. He hears Paparelli singing one in the shower but it turns out that someone thought of it first

Bilko's Engagement

After a mix up at the jewelers Bilko finds that Joan has been given an engagement ring and she thinks that they are to married. Bilko has to think fast of a way out.

A Mess Sergeant Can't Win

Fed up with losing to Bilko all the time Mess Sgt Ritzik is leaving the army having saved up $400 to open a snack bar So Bilko devises a plan to repay all the money that he has won off Ritzik.

Doberman's Sister

It's family day at Fort Baxter and all the platoon have invited their sister's. They all have date's except Doberman's so Bilko sets out to con Zimmerman into taking her out.

Where There's A Will

A member of the platoon is cheated out of his share in his uncles will. The only thing he gets is a parrot so Bilko starts a rumor that the parrot holds the clue to a hidden treasure map.

Bilko's Tax Trouble

Through an error Bilko is called before the tax people to explain his earnings

Mink Incorporated

After Bilko loses 100 dollars of the platoons welfare fund on a horse, he tries to get the money back, by starting a mink farm, but the mink's refuse to breed.

Sergeant Bilko Presents Ed Sullivan

When TV host Ed Sullivan tries to put on ‘A Salute to the Army' show, the talent scout leaves Bilko out to start with, but when the producer decides to use a jeep in the finale, they turn Bilko to organise things, but he tries to change the show to suit himself.

Bilko Gets Some Sleep

Unable to sleep Bilko goes to the camp psychiatrist for advice. He is told to give up gambling and women.

The Blue Blood Of The Bilko's

A sergeant from Fort Baxter is to be excluded from his son's wedding to an heiress. They only want officers to attend so Bilko decides to change their minds

Love That Guardhouse

After winning 1500 dollars in Las Vegas, Ritzik is desperate to play poker with Bilko, so the Colonel locks him up in the guardhouse for his own protection.

Sergeant Bilko Presents Bing Crosby

Bilko promotes a show starring Bing Crosby, but when Bing suddenly fails to show up, Bilko has to find a lookalike as a replacement.

Bilko Goes To Monte Carlo

Bilko comes up with a foolproof method of winning at roulette, so all the camp come up with a bankroll and send him off Monte Carlo to try it out.

Bilko Enters Politics

When the plan for a new serviceman's center is turned down by the mayor Bilko gets Doberman to run for Mayor. When it looks like Doberman will win, the campaign manager makes a deal with Bilko to build the center if Doberman will drop out

Bilko's Television Idea

When T.V. star Buddy Bickford come to Fort Baxter to research background for a new television show. Bilko tries to sell him a T.V. idea of his own.

The Son Of Bilko

A young practical joker joins the platoon and drives everybody crazy until Bilko finds a way to give give him a taste of his own medicine.

Rock 'n' Roll Rookie

When singer Elvin Pelvin joins the platoon, Bilko sees a way to make money but he can't get him to sing.

Bilko's Black Magic

When Pvt Mendleson who has been lost in the jungle for years receives $7000 in back pay he loses it to Grover and Ritzik in a poker game. Bilko uses their fear of black magic to get his money back.

Bilko Goes South

During a cold spell the platoon think that they are entering a singing contest which will be held in Florida, but instead they take part in a dangerous medical experiment.

Bilko Goes Around The World

After watching ' Around the World in 80 Days ' Bilko calls the producer Mike Todd and suggests that to publicize the film he offer a prize to the first person who can do the same.

The Mess Hall Mess

Bilko has dinner at a French restaurant and finds an old recipe that will win a prize in a competition to find a brand new American recipe.

The Secret Life Of Sergeant Bilko

An investigative reporter tries to find evidence that American soldiers are giving away defense secrets. Bilko gets to hear and helps the reporter out

Radio Station B.I.L.K.O.

When the local radio station is to close down Bilko sees a good way to make money using army equipment

Bilko the Marriage Broker

When Lt Wallace gets transferred to become Bilko's platoon officer he works them hard all day. So they try and get him to fall for a new WAC officer Lt Rogers but he doesn't seem to be interested but unknown to Bilko the two officers are having a secret affair and no one is to find out.

Bilko Acres

When Bilko thinks that the camp is being enlarged he buys swamp land next door hoping to make a killing only to find that the camp is being slimmed down. Trying to recoup his money he tries to sell it as building land but first he has to kill all the mosquitoes in the swamp and he gives the job to Doberman with unfortunate repercussions

The Big Scandal

Bilko tries to hypnotize Ritzik, but it's Doberman who falls under the influence and he tells the Colonel's wife that he loves her

Bilko's Perfect Day

For once everything goes right for Bilko, from hot showers in the morning, to picking all the winners in a horse race, but by the time he realizes it the day is over.

The Colonel Breaks Par

Bilko wants the Colonel away from the camp so he can operate without obstruction he decides to get the Colonel to enter a golf tournament in Palm Springs but the Colonel doesn't think he is good enough to play. So Bilko gets Sam Snead to act as a golf novice and for Bilko to give him some golf lessons while the Colonel is watching.

Show Segments

Bilko's Merry Widow

Bilko's Boy's Town

When the army go on maneuvers the Colonel orders Bilko to stay in camp, so with Fort Baxter empty he uses the time to form a boy's camp.

Hillbilly Whiz

When the platoon lose again in a baseball game Bilko is desperate to find new players. Then a recruit from the south Hank Lumpkin turns up and Bilko can hardly believe his luck, as Lumpkin is a baseball star in the making. Bilko then contrives to have a New York Yankee's scout to 'accidentally' find Lumpkin so he can traded, but as a Southerner Lumpkin doesn't want to play for the Yankee's

Bilko's Valentine

When Bilko forgets valentines day, Joan Hogan leaves the army, When Bilko realises what he has done, he follows her and tries to get her to reenlist

The Big Man Hunt

When two men (who have been employed by a soldier who is looking for the man who saved his life during the war ) come looking for Bilko, he comes to the wrong conclusion, why they want him, until he recognises the name of the soldier, but when the two of them finally meet, Bilko has changed so much, that the soldier fails to recognise him.

Bilko's Double Life

When his money problems start to close in on him, Bilko departs for New York, but while there he is mistaken for a millionaire. Meanwhile the real millionaire is in Roseville sorting out Bilko's problems.

Sergeant Bilko Presents

Unable to raise the necessary funds to back Pt Hugo Lockman's play 'Sharecropper's Summer', Bilko persuades the army to run a playwriting competition.

Bilko Talks in His Sleep

Sgt's Grover,and Ritzik overhear Bilko talking in his sleep and he gives away all his betting secrets. Bilko soon realises what is happening and gets his own back.

Cherokee Ernie

Bilko goes on leave with Cpl Charlie Whiteagle, a Cherokee Indian, to Tulsa for a poker game, but he gets caught up in a legal fight when a document is found stating that the Indians still own most of Oklahoma.

Bilko Buys A Club

When Bilko learns that a new member of the platoon is a merchant banker, he tries to get him to invest in a club that Bilko wants to set up.but he asks the wrong man of advice.

Lieutenant Bilko

Bilko decides to leave the army until he learns that during the war he was promoted to Lt . and due to a foul up he is still a Lt, and he is owed over $14,000 in back pay.

Bilko At Bay

Trying to get to New York, and to save money Bilko and the corporals arrange to stop off at the homes of members of the platoon for free meals.

Bilko F.O.B. Detroit

Bilko and the platoon go to Detroit to get the new trucks, the Colonel orders him back in two days, but he has other plans to stay on.

Bilko and the Flying saucers

In order to go Washington for a date with a young singer, Bilko has to report to the Colonel that he has seen a U.F.O. and has to go to Washington to be debriefed.

Bilko and the Colonel's Secretary

When the Colonel's secretary gets posted, Bilko make sure that the right WAC is posted in, but this posting takes her away from her fiance, When she learns that Bilko was responsible she makes his and the platoon's life hell, until Bilko gets rid of her and brings in another secretary only to find that he is her boyfriend and the same thing happens all over again.

Doberman the Crooner

Bilko discovers that Doberman has a beautiful singing voice but only when he has a cold. So Bilko gets him to make a record, but by then the doctors have cured his cold and his real voice returns.

Bilko Presents Kay Kendall

Movie star Kay Kendall visits Roseville to promote her film & Bilko gets her to appear in a show he's producing. Bilko's hoping to make a bundle of dough but Miss Kendall soon proves to be more than a match for the wily Sgt.

Bilko's Cousin

When the Colonel hears that another Bilko is about to arrive he hopes that he is no relation to Ernie because with two Bilko's at the camp life is going to be worse that ever but he turns out to be Ernie's cousin Swifty, but there is a surprise in store for everybody.

Bilko's Pigeons

When an order banning the use of pigeons comes through from Washington, Bilko's source of income dries up.

Cyrano De Bilko

Bilko helps out one the platoon when he is to shy to ask for a date with a local girl called Natalie. But complications arise when it turns out that there are two girls called Natalie.

The Colonel's Reunion

The Colonel goes all out in his fight against the gambling, so Bilko gets the Colonel to leave the camp to go to a class reunion, but just when he thinks he has a free hand to carry on the Colonel decides it would crazy to leave him at the camp, so Bilko has to drive the Colonel to the reunion.

Bilko Saves Ritzik's Marriage

When Sgt Ritzik plays one too many poker games with Bilko, his wife leaves him, so Ernie has to find a way of bringing them back together.

Bilko The Art Lover

In New York, Bilko stays with an old buddy who is a prospective artist, but he falls out with his father, until the father realises how good his son is.

Bilko The Genius

In a mix up over test results, Bilko is told that he has a genius rating and he goes on a course with other test winners. They try and come up with a foolproof method of predicting the result of any horse race.

Bilko the Male Model

When Bilko is caught in a photograph taken in a night club when he should be elsewhere, an advertising agency spots his potential and tries to sign him as a male model.

The Colonel's Inheritance

When the Colonel is left $5000 Bilko gets hold of it and invests it on the stock market. When he gets wiped out, he is desperate to replace the money before the Colonel hears about it

Bilko's Honeymoon

When Paparelli wins a competition for a holiday to Florida, he is overjoyed, until he learns that it is for newlyweds, then Bilko has an idea.

Bilko's Chinese Restaurant

When they learn that one of the new recruit's father started a chain of Chinese restaurants with very little money he decides to get in on the food business.

Operation Love

Fort Baxter's WAC's are fed up with their boyfriends gambling with Bilko, instead of taking them out, so they get themselves transferred.

Bilko's TV Pilot

A cowboy joins the platoon, and Bilko gets the idea of building a TV show around him

Bilko Retires From Gambling

Colonel hall hires a professional card player, to beat Bilko at cards. He is so upset at losing that he gives up gambling

Bilko's Vacation

When he wants a free holiday at Dimmeldorf lodge, Bilko convinces the platoon, and the Colonel to go as well. But after they realise what has happened, the Colonel gets his own back.

Bilko's Insurance Company

A car accident near the camp gives Bilko the idea of starting an insurance company.

Bilko's Prize Poodle

Doberman gets attached to a poodle, and Bilko sees a chance of winning $10,000 in a dog show.

Bilko's School Days

Bilko learns that a new training camp is to be opened at Fort Baxter, Just when it looks like a new source of cash has presented itself, he finds that it is for M.P.'s not trainees.

Joan's Big Romance

Joan Hogan is fed up waiting for Bilko, so she takes off for Chicago, and meets up with a wealthy playboy on the train. When her picture appears in the paper, she sees a way of making Bilko jealous.

Gold Fever

Bilko finds an old map of a secret gold mine near Grove City and investigates the site.

Bilko's Vampire

When Ritzik starts watching horror films instead of playing poker, Bilko tries to scare him off

Bilko's De Luxe Tours

When they have problems getting to town, Bilko goes into the transportation business, by joining the PTA and getting hold of one of their buses.

Bilko the Potato Sack King

When offered a $20,000 wage Bilko leaves the army for a firm making potato sacks, but it is not long before he is back in the army.

Bilko v's Covington

Bilko is getting beaten at his own game by a Sgt Covington, so he starts a rumour about a big money making opportunities in Japan, but the plan backfires when Covington learns the truth.

Bilko Joins the Navy

When word of a big crap game for sailors only gets around Bilko Paparelli, and Zimmerman join the navy to take part but somehow they all end up at sea and have problems getting back ashore.

Bilko's Big Woman Hunt

Cpl Henshaw falls in love and ruins Bilko's business,so when the same thing happens to Bilko, when he gets trapped in a lift with a girl, she then disappears and he has to go to the police in order to find her.

Bilko and the Crosby's

Bilko dreams of what life would be like if he and not Bing were the father of the Crosby Sons.

Bilko's Allergy

Bilko develops an allergy to playing cards which prevents him taking part in poker games.

Bilko and the Chaplin

The Chaplin and Bilko get back at a crooked real estate agent, who wants to close a boys home and open a parking lot.

Bilko Presents the McGuire Sisters

Bilko's Secret Mission

When Ritzik is accidentally given a dose of electricity it makes him magnetic. He doesn't realise it, but it helps him control the ball in a roulette wheel. He thinks he has come up with a foolproof method of winning at roulette.

Bilko's Giveaway

In Hollywood with no money, Bilko teams up with a child genius to win big prizes on a TV game show. but no cash.

Bilko and the Medium

Hearing that Ritzik's have won $500 ,Bilko tries to borrow the money to open a pool hall.

Bilko's Bopster

When jazz drummer Skinny Sanders joins the platoon, Bilko dreams of forming a band and touring Europe.

Bilko's Hollywood Romance

A film star's agent decides that a romance with a soldier would be a good public relations exercise. Bilko gets chosen but in next to no time he becomes to powerful.

Bilko's Grand Hotel

Bilko opens a pizza stand,But it burns down with Paparelli and Zimmerman in charge. So he tries again with a cheap hotel but the same thing happens again.

Bilko's Credit Card

Bilko signs up the camp to his credit card scheme, the men like the idea, but when it comes time to settle their bills, the camp leave on manoeuvres.

Viva Bilko

Bilko and three of the platoon are on holiday in Mexico, when they are robbed of their clothes by Mexican bandits, who use the clothes as a disguise to rob a bank. Later when Bilko gets their clothes back, they are arrested, until he can explain what happened.

The Colonel's Promotion

When a promotion he expected doesn't happen Colonel hall goes to Washington and gets to play golf with Eisenhower.

Bilko's Sharpshooter

Bilko discovers a WAC sharpshooter and starts to promote her as a new Annie Oakley, until she falls for another contestant in a competition.

Bilko's Formula Seven

When applejack is accidentally mixed with crankcase oil, Bilko finds that they have discovered a formula for anti wrinkle, which Bilko tries to sell to the cosmetic firms.

Bilko's Ape Man

Bilko hopes to launch Pvt Forbes in a film career, by entering him in a Mister Universe contest

Warrant Officer Paparelli

Bilko gets Paparelli promoted, but he turns into a monster, so Bilko has to think of a way to demote him.

Bilko's Godson

When he is named as the godfather to the son of a G.I. friend, Bilko tries to get the boy enrolled at Stanford University.

Guinea Pig Bilko

Bilko takes a tranquilliser and loses his love for gambling, but the Colonel can't stand the change and tries to shock him out of it.

Bilko the Butler

While helping out as a waiter, Bilko overhears a stock tip so he phones Cpl Henshaw to invest their money, but before Henshaw can act the Stock falls and Bilko thinks that their money has been lost.

Ritzik Goes Civilian

Sgt Ritzik leaves the army, and sets up in roadside diner.But in no time he discovers that he has been swindled and calls for Bilko to help get his money back.

Bilko's Small Car

When the police seize the Colonel's sports car Bilko converts a jeep and takes an order for ten from a local motor dealer.

Doberman Missing Heir

Lord and Lady Rockford think they have discovered Doberman as their long lost son and heir, then they find it is all a mistake.

Bilko's Casino

Bilko discovers an old document saying that the Grove City USO is exempt from California's Gambling laws. So Bilko opens a gambling club, but the mob muscle in on him so Bilko reverts the club back to the USO

The Colonel's Second Honeymoon

With the Colonel away on a second honeymoon, Bilko and Zimmerman who has won a prize in a competition find that they are staying at the same hotel

Bilko in Outer Space

Sgt's Ritzik and Grover win $600 but are terrified of losing it to Bilko, so they hide out in a space capsule mock up, but Bilko finds them

The Bilko Boycott

Tired of the way Bilko is fleecing the platoon, Cpl Henshaw sets up a gamblers anonymous organisation, so with his source of money drying up ,he starts on the WAC's

Weekend Colonel

CCTV set up by the Colonel cleans up the gambling, so Bilko finds a double of the Colonel who then orders the removal of the camera's.

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